Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Another year later...

When I started this blog I wanted to use it as a forum for charting the highs and lows of my emancipation from the academy. I thought it would be an interesting exercise to do until I felt comfortable with my transition. After 12 months I felt I didn't have that much more to say.

So what can I say after another 12 months 'on the outside'?

Since the end of last year, not much has changed. I am still in the same role. There have been lots of changes in my workplace since I started, however the everyday details of my tasks are as they were when I started. This is generally ok with me still as things on the personal front have been a little hectic. Having a job that I don't need to worry about has helped a lot. As I have said before, it's not hard, it pays the bills and I get to use my free time to do non-work related stuff.

Overall, I also really don't mind that much the dressing for work, turning up to the office and seeing the same people every day. There is a certain amount of rhythm to how the week progresses. It's just a pain if you need to run around and take care of your personal affairs - appointments and errands and the like all have to be crammed in to the hours before, between and after work. But come 5 o'clock on a Friday - YEEHA!! I walk away and look forward to not thinking about work until Monday.

In the long term though, I am still left with the same dilemma - what am I going to do with the rest of my life? I am still drawing a blank. I thought that with some time free of the ongoing crises of trying to make ends meet that I would find some inspiration along the way.

A question put to me the other day made me realise that I still haven't achieved much headway on this topic. I was asked: what would you like your life to look like? And for the first time in a long while, I didn't have anything to say.

It's high time to get my skates on and start making some inspiration happen instead of waiting for it to strike.

I do know without a doubt though, that every time I set foot on a university campus it makes my stomach lurch and twinge. This entirely visceral reaction is startling. It's actually how I felt every day I went to work. And I don't miss that.

I also don't miss the drama of the workloads and workplace relations. Every story I ever hear from someone who works on a university campus makes me cringe with the familiarity of it all. It doesn't matter which department or who the antagonists are - it's all the same essentially.

In sum, I don't miss academia as much as I thought I would. It all seems like some kind of bad dream now.